Confessions of a Germaphobe

If the first step to overcoming a problem is admitting it, then here I go. At some point over the past 2 years, I have become the person who uses hand sanitizer after passing the offering plate at church. My heart races when I am forced to touch a bathroom doorknob. I can’t remember the last time I flushed a public toilet with anything other than my foot. I am realizing I need to reach some kind of balance. I need to make amends with millions of micro-bacteria and learn to exist in harmony with them.
I have noticed there are not degrees of germaphobia.. You either care about germs, or you don’t. You either wipe down shopping cart handles before you touch them, you use your sleeve to open bathroom doors, you bathe your child in Purell after a visit to the park, you feel slightly grossed out after touching keys or cell phones, or you don’t. I am gradually working my way back from the extreme end of the “icky” spectrum.
Ever since I had Griffin, my fear of the germs that might be hiding out on nursery toys, other people’s drinks or the worst–strange people’s hands–has caused me to have miniature internal panick attacks almost daily. Last month I was at the Pediatrician’s office with Griffin, Madelyn in her 30+ pound carrier, and a diaper bag, and I felt like I was running the gauntlet trying to open 4 doors and use nasty doctor’s office pens in a sanitary way while also keeping the kids in check and trying to look like I was a sane member of society. It was shortly after that visit when I realized I needed to relax a little.
Steve thinks I am ridiculous when it comes to germs, and I am slowly beginning to agree. In his attempts to “cure” me he likes to take Griffin to McDonald’s playland–the ultimate cesspool for any germaphobe. Of course Griffin loves it, and so far he hasn’t picked up E coli, so I am beginning to realize it IS my problem. I don’t think Laura Ingalls Wilder used hand sanitizer after she did her morning chores.
I know that colds and even the flu are all part of “building a strong immune system,” or so they say. I know when my kids get older and I have even less control over them they will eat things off lunchroom floors and share drinks with friends and we will all go through the cold and flu season together every fall. The most baffling thing is that my kids still manage to pick up colds and in doing so they are some other germaphobe’s worst nightmare. Obviously I can’t be there to wipe them off every time they touch something nasty and I don’t want them rolling around in a little germ-proof bubble. Deep down I know these germs serve a purpose. Like I said, this is a confession and I am trying to form some kind of alliance with them. Until then, please don't feel the need to confiscate the hand sanitizer I carry around my waist in a holster like a weapon...